Lynne E. Sheridan

Your Results

Here are your highs and lows and next steps for a HOT and lasting partnership

Your Highest Scoring Area(s)

Your Lowest Scoring Area(s)

Acceptance / Love / Kindness / Compassion

An important component of any loving relationship is that BOTH partners feel and experience love. There is acceptance of differing perspectives and choices, mutual respect and value of both partners. When there are upsets or challenges, both partners feel compassionate love from the other. When this is lacking, it is a gaping hole and can cause either or both partners to feel unloved, doubt themselves and the value they provide in the relationship.

Congratulations! This is a high scoring area. You feel loved, cared for and valued by your partner and you express your compassion and love for your partner consistently. This is a solid base from which you operate in the world and a strength that serves you in every area of your life. Well done, and we can never rest on our laurels, but get to always improve at giving and receiving love.

As a low scoring area, it is so challenging to feel uncared for or unloved, especially when you may be doing everything to convey your love for your partner. It’s time to specifically say what it is that you need and how you feel supported and loved. Your partner cannot read your mind. There is work to do, but don’t be disheartened, many people have never learned how to express love and care, and with support, this can change.

I understand that receiving a low score in acceptance and showing love to your partner is probably concerning, but the good news is that there are immediate ways to improve and strengthen this aspect of your relationship. Here are some immediate NOW ACTIONS you can take to help you increase acceptance and show love to your partner:

  1. Love Languages: One effective way to enhance your connection is by understanding each other’s love languages. Take the time to discover your partner’s primary love language, whether it is words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, or receiving gifts. Then make a conscious effort to express love in their preferred language, as it will resonate more deeply with them.
  2. Differing Ways of Feeling Respected: People have different ways of feeling respected and valued in a relationship. Openly communicate with your partner about the specific actions and behaviors that have them feel respected. This may involve active listening, showing more appreciation, acknowledging their accomplishments, and by you actively encouraging them towards their goals. By understanding and fulfilling each other’s needs for respect, you can create a more harmonious environment and experience deeper love.
  3. Couples Awakening Retreat: Make it a priority to participate in my upcoming Couples Intimacy Retreat. It provides a safe and supportive environment for couples to explore emotional intimacy and understand each other’s needs, both the conscious ones and the unconscious ones. Through experiential processes and exercises, with support and encouragement, you can learn ways to see, hear and understand each other more deeply. For most couples, there is your relationship before the retreat, and then a distinct one afterwards of compassion, love and respect.
  4. Quality Time and Shared activities: Dedicate quality tie to your relationship by engaging in shared activities and experiences that you both enjoy. This involves making dates a priority, taking up a new hobby, or simply setting aside uninterrupted time for meaningful conversations. By increasing moments of connection, you can deepen your understanding of each other and your experience of love and acceptance in the relationship.

Remember – you need to invest the time, energy and work in your relationship, just like you do in your work, children or other areas of your life. You cannot expect a plant to grow and thrive without sunlight and water – this is the way you water and give Light to your relationship. By implementing these strategies, it will pay off in a stronger bond and greater sense of acceptance.

Your Highest Scoring Area(s)

Your Lowest Scoring Area(s)

Support

Different people feel supported in different ways. Sometimes people feel best supported with encouragement and championing, others may feel best supported with a mix of encouragement and challenge, and others are supported by loving challenge. It’s important in a partnership to feel that your partner is filling the sails with wind rather than becoming the storm or cutting off all forces that could propel you forward.

Wow, beautiful. This is a high scoring area. You feel supported and championed by your partner and you both do a good job of lifting each other up and encouraging moving towards your dreams and goals. You get to continue to learn to do so, as you grow together over the course of your lifetime.

It seems you score low in the area of feeling supported by, and showing support to your partner. I understand that this may be disheartening. It is hard to face when we feel unsupported in our choices, dreams, goals and desires. It is like an additional roadblock in achieving what we want, when we need someone lifting us up. The good news is that you can learn how to support your partner and they can learn how to support you. There are actionable steps you can take right now to improve and foster more encouragement and support.

Here are my immediate recommendations to help you feel supported in good times and bad.

  1. Couples Awakening Intimacy Retreat: After sixteen years of doing retreats and hundreds of couples who have shared what they created, I am clear that this is one of the most powerful ways imaginable to support you with valuable insights about your partner, practical tools to understand how you both feel supported, and exercises that improve communication, foster trust, and forge a deep understanding of each other’s needs. In a safe and supportive environment you will learn new ways of supporting and encouraging each other.
  2. Identify Areas of Exquisite Sensitivity: Take the time to identify and share areas where you are especially sensitive or vulnerable. This is where a supportive environment is helpful to understand what they are and where they originated. Be open and honest with your partner, and then practice expressing your needs, allowing your partner to understand and support you in a directed and meaningful way.
  3. Tailor your Support: Recognize that support takes different forms for each individual. Some people appreciate verbal encouragement, others find that someone shoulder the burden with them feels supportive, and others need to be heard without any solutions offered. It is important to align your effort to ensure you are providing the support that most resonates with your partner.
  4. Encouragement and Belief: Show genuine belief in your partner’s ability and dreams. Offer words of encouragement, expressing confidence in their abilities, especially when they are faced with challenges. Be a source of support and unwavering belief to help build up their self-esteem and motivate them.
  5. Active Listening with Validation: Practice active listening without interruption, validating when your partner shares their thoughts, feelings and concerns. Give them undivided attention, letting them know their voice is heard and their feels are valid.

Remember, while it is an investment of time, energy and sometimes money, caring for and nurturing your partnership will always pay off in a lifetime of dividends. By implementing these actions and actively working towards support and encouragement, you can crate a relationship dynamic that fosters growth, resilience and a deep sense of support. Please reach out if I can support.

Your Highest Scoring Area(s)

Your Lowest Scoring Area(s)

Boundaries / Differentiation / Equality

In intimate relationships, this one is key to both partners feeling safe -to live their own life, make their own choices, and have their voice be heard and valued in the relationship. When one person thinks that they oversee the other, the one who makes the decisions, or controls what is good for the other, it is a big red flag. Feeling that each person has autonomy over their lives, friends, choices and directions is important and a component of real love. Even if it is not what the other would choose, there is support and unconditional love.

Masterful. This is a high scoring area. It can be challenging to encourage and support your partner even when they are making very different choices, some of which you may not agree with, but because it is their choice, you respect. It is important to give your input, use your voice, but ultimately, know that it is up to your partner to decide what matters to them and what road to walk. Always room to grow in walking this balance beam.

Concern here. When one partner attempts to control another, deciding what they should do, wear, or who they can and cannot associate with, it is a major red flag. If there are abusive behaviors, or patterns where one partner is isolating the other, making their choices for them, it is important to get immediate support in the form of counseling and/or doing work on your relationship together. Each partner deserves to make their own choices and have those choices respected. Dive in – do any work that will support this, including the Couples retreats.

This is a call for immediate intervention. If you or your partner are not respecting physical boundaries, hitting, pushing, pull hair, ignoring when you say ’no’ to sex, then it is important to seek professional support immediately. Likewise, if you or your partner are losing your temper to the point of name calling, berating, emotionally abusing the other, and/or throwing things, slamming doors or intimidating the other through words or body movements, then professional support is urgently needed to learn how to express anger in a healthy way and value and respect each other.

Your Highest Scoring Area(s)

Your Lowest Scoring Area(s)

Emotional Intimacy

The word Intimacy is from Latin meaning, profoundly within, or the within-est place in ourselves. This means feeling truly seen, heard, and known by your partner. It is sharing likes, fears, doubts, dislikes, vulnerabilities, challenges and what has occurred and is occurring openly and transparency. It is being vulnerable to your partner fully, knowing this takes courage and is the birthplace of love.

YOU LOVE ME! This is a high scoring area. That is the feeling of being seen, heard, and known. You and your partner share your past challenges openly and with emotion and are not afraid to laugh, cry and be with each other through fears, doubts and delights. This is a key to both partners feeling loved and you get to continue to water this beautiful flower in your relationship and the garden can flourish through your participation of deepening work, like the Couples Retreats.

It appears that you scored low in the area of emotional intimacy. Ugh. It is so hard to feel like there are walls or guards up in a partnership. It is hard to feel like there are things you can express, and others you cannot – or that you’d like to be open with your emotions and don’t know how. Take heart, literally. Some people never had examples of how to do this or live this way, and you can learn to pry open that iron breastplate you or your partner wear for protection. Definitely be willing to invest the time and energy in attending Awakening Intimacy with your partner.

Emotional intimacy is a crucial aspect of a fulfilling relationship and I am here to provide you with some recommendations for you to cultivate and deepen this connection with your partner by feeling supported by, and showing support to your partner.

  1. Couples Awakening Intimacy Retreat: There is no more concentrated way to build and foster emotional intimacy with your partner than time away with a professional to guide you in exploring your emotions, and deepening your understanding of each other. In a safe and supportive environment, you are guided through exercises and given tools needed to listen and act with compassion, and enhance emotional intimacy in your relationship.
  2. Couples Passionate Partnering: Explore having the ‘cheat sheet’ to your partner, seeing, hearing and understanding how you both interact in the ‘dance’ of your relationship and ways that dance serves and doesn’t serve. This is an environment where you can practice sharing your likes, fears, doubts, vulnerabilities and challenges with honesty and transparency. Yes vulnerability requires courage, but remember, it is the birthplace of love and deep emotional connection.
  3. Create Safe Spaces for Sharing: Foster and environment of trust and safety where both you and your partner feel comfortable sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings. Encourage open and accepting communication by actively listening, showing empathy and providing validation. Set a space and time with no distractions so you can focus fully on your partner.
  4. Practice Empathy and Understanding: Cultivate empathy and understanding in your relationship by really listening and showing compassion for your partner’s experiences, even if they are different from your own. Validate their emotions and provide support during challenging times.

Remember, the journey of emotional intimacy requires patience, vulnerability and continuous effort from both partners. By engaging in the recommended actions, such as attending retreats, practicing open communication and creating safe spaces for sharing, you can work to deepen your emotional connection with your partner and foster a more intimate relationship. Please reach out for any support and ways I can propel this forward.

Your Highest Scoring Area(s)

Your Lowest Scoring Area(s)

Physical Intimacy

Each intimate partnership is unique and only you and your partner can define what that means for you. There are some partnerships and marriages that thrive and they have never had sex together, others have sex daily, others incorporate others, and still others have sensuality without sexual expression. It is important that you and your partner come to agreement about what works for both of you in this domain and that both partners feel that their expression is honored and their happiness and satisfaction matter.

HOT! This is a high scoring area. It seems the flames of passion and intimacy expressed through sex are burning hot. You use sexual expression to feel close, connected and in sync with your partner and feel like your sexual expression is honored and your satisfaction matters to your partner. This is a strength in your relationship and a place where you join – beautiful.

You are probably aware of the fact even before this Quiz that you scored low in the area of physical intimacy. Take heart. This can be a tricky area in a relationship and sometimes God/Universe have a way of challenging our growth by partnering us with someone who has a distinctly different libido than we do. Reminder – no one is at fault, and no one is the ‘problem’ here. It is just two different people with different sexual expressiveness. You can learn to adapt, grow and ignite desires in different ways. Your love is what matters, and with support, you can kindle the fires.

Physical intimacy is an important aspect of an intimate partnership and I’m here to give you some immediate recommendations to navigate and enhance this aspect in a way that works for both you and your partner.

  1. Couples Awakening Intimacy Retreat: Yes, intimacy is part of the name, meaning how do you ‘be naked’ with your partner – fully transparent with each other? It is the process of letting go of secrets, shame, guilt and everything that blocks being truly seen by our partner. In a safe and supportive space, you learn new ways to see and hear each other, so that you have total freedom to be with each other, and in the privacy of your own room, explore new techniques to communicate openly about your desires and boundaries in the realm of physical intimacy.
  2. Couples Intimacy Practice: This is a three-month program designed to foster every form of intimacy and connection. Over three months, you learn to keep your commitments with each other, giving each other time and attention and working on ways to enliven your play and connection during sex. It is a deepening of open, honest conversation about the forms of physical intimacy that align with your preferences, whether it is through sexual expression, sensuality and other intimate acts. The key is creating an agreement that honors both partners’ expressions and ensures that happiness and satisfaction are guaranteed.
  3. Communication and Consent: Communication and consent are vital in fostering healthy and vibrant physical intimacy. Establish and environment where you and your partner feel comfortable expressing your desires, likes, preferences, concerns and boundaries. Regularly check in with each other to ensure that both partners’ needs and comfort levels are being met. This open dialogue will help create safety and trust in your sex life.
  4. Professional Guidance: If you and your partner are experiencing challenges of difficulties in the area of physical intimacy, seeking professional guidance from a couples therapist or sex therapist can be beneficial. I am grateful that at all of the Couples Retreats we talk transparently about obstacles, curiosities and concerns in the realm of physical intimacy to foster intimate connection.

Remember, physical intimacy is a personal and unique aspect of every relationship. It is crucial to create an environment where both partners feel heard, respected and honored in their sexual and sensual expression. Through open communication, consent and a willingness to explore and understand each other’s desires, you can cultivate a fulfilling and satisfying physical connection.

Your Highest Scoring Area(s)

Your Lowest Scoring Area(s)

Communication

Most marital research sites lack effective communication as being the most common reason for divorce. Partners need to feel a sense of collaboration, compatibility, consideration and compassion in their communication with each other. This is easy when we agree and can be more challenging around areas of disagreement. Both partners need to feel that they are heard, and their perspective is respected and valued.

Nice ears! This is a high scoring area. You and your partner have learned the value of listening as well as speaking. You are genuinely interested in what the other person has to say and curious about their perspective. You also feel heard and, that you are listened to even in areas of disagreement. Continue to foster healthy dialogue around challenges, coming to compromise and collaboration.

You scored low in the area of communication, which you probably could have guessed. This shows up as a feeling of ‘fuzzy’ communication, the experience of missing each other and feeling unheard and misunderstood. It is challenging to feel unheard or like your opinions and perspectives don’t matter. Chances are that if you feel this way, so does your partner. It is worth the investment of time, energy and money to learn how to communicate with your partner, hearing and valuing differences and similarities. This is often not taught or learned in school or in most homes. You and your partner can learn to listen not only to the words, but to the feelings underneath all that you are communicating and hold those feelings with compassion and love. Now, do the work – I’m here to provide you with some recommendations to improve and strengthen this critical area of your relationship.

  1. Couples Awakening Intimacy Retreat: This is one of the biggest takeaways from the retreat, with couples shocked and humbled by the way they are listening underneath the words and getting to the heart of the matter with their partner. In the retreat you will learn a template for communicating with depth, listening and expressing your love with your partner. What that means is you walk away with a real tool to never get caught in spinning upsets, but to have disagreements be supportive and forwarding to your relationship.
  2. Couples Passionate Partnering: This Retreat gives couples a ‘cheat sheet’ to understanding their partner’s cues in a way they never have before. You also learn the key to why most marriages do not succeed, and learn how to care for you, and love you, while you are intimately connected with your partner. It is a chance for genuine collaboration, compatibility, consideration and compassion in your communication so that both partners feel empathy, respect and heard in disagreements and moving through life together.
  3. Couples Intimacy Practice: This is a dedicated three-month program designed for you to practice intimate communication and partnership in a safe holding with professional support designed for you to be consistent in your commitment and love for each other, utilizing the healthy template that you have used and making it habit. designed to foster every form of intimacy and connection.
  4. Additional Professional Support: If you continue to face challenges with anger, volatility or upsets, then a couple’s therapist can provide guidance, techniques and tools tailored to your specific needs and will help navigate any underlying issues that may hinder effective communication.

Remember that the number one reason most marriage end is because of ineffective communication. That means it is a skill that must be learned and improved over time to create a healthier and more fulfilling communication dynamic in your relationship.

I am here and have walked thousands of people through ways of deepening their love and understanding of each other.

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